Pete and Jen are married people! They’ve been together for 17 years. They grew up 10 minutes away from each other in Massachusetts. How great! They can go home and see both of their families at the same time! Guess again! They both come from very tight loving families and they fight over them when they go home to Boston. Also find out why you should run far far away from someone who says loyalty is important to them. For the first time ever (I think?), the guests give ME advice about a fight (a political one, buckle your seatbelt). We also talk about the difference between not trusting someone and wanting to protect your relationship.
Allison and Jimmy are AN UTTER DELIGHT. They have been together for about two years, but it is unclear because while they were initially dating, Allison fully just DISAPPEARED. I believe the term the kids use is “ghosting.” Jimmy was undeterred, though, and continued to message Allison for months with no response. It all worked out for them, but guys, I cannot emphasize this enough -- DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. We also discuss the logistics of supporting your partner in a conflict with someone else, touch briefly on vegetarian vs. carnivore, and learn that Jimmy and Allison’s grandma text each other regularly (for God’s sake).
Katie and Wayland are newlyweds and they are very similar, which makes it very easy to understand each other and be empathetic when fighting! They both enjoy debating and are willing to have their minds changed, which -- what a dream! But it also means they both struggle with making decisions, as exemplified by how Wayland decided when he was going to propose, which, I have to say, is one of the craziest pieces of behavior I’ve ever heard on Honey. As with many couples, they tend to fight when they are tired and hungry, But it also makes it easier to call each other out on what’s going on under the surface. When they fight it lasts for half a day max. Some hot discussions we get into: banks vs. credit unions! What is the purpose of the dictionary? How much Christmas music is too much Christmas music? Is Michael Buble’s Christmas album good? We have a very WOKE discussion about Baby, It’s Cold Outside.
Claire and Basil live together and have been together for four years! They met on OKCupid, jeez doesn’t that feel like a million years ago?? I love them as a couple because they are both so calm and respectful of each other. They’re very different people but are totally admiring and appreciative of their differences. One time they had a minorly neutral-negative conversation about doing the dishes, so I try to really stir up some shit about them. But the biggest conflict in this episode is between me and Basil and the challenges of having a creative career. At one point Claire does a half-hearted Trump impression. This is a great episode for couples who live in totally different worlds but still love each other a lot! This is a great episode for someone who is trying to make it in a tough career! This is a great episode of someone who wants to be a supportive partner to a person like that! Everyone go vote!
Chris and Rebecca have been dating for two years and they moved in together way too fast! Fight #1 is that Chris likes to say there was some... impropriety when they got together and Rebecca hates when he says that. Now here’s the thing - when they got together, Rebecca was adamant that she did not want to date anyone, so Chris had to be extremely stealthy about expressing interest in her, so fight #2 is about whether or not Rebecca was being dense about Chris expressing interest. Fight #3 is about the term “greengrocer.” But fight #4 - the big one - is that Rebecca wants to get married but not have kids and Chris wants to have kids but not get married!! Good lord!!! This is a PICKLE! We also accidentally create a great starter guide to Mormonism. We get into Chris’s divorce, Rebecca’s fear of pregnancy, and my insane hormones. Also here’s the insane Buzz Bissinger story.
Jonny and Jacki are engaged and guess what? They don’t fight! Jacki has an extreme -- EXTREME -- aversion to raised voices of any kind in any situation, and both Jonny and Jacki are used to being the peacemakers in their families so they are naturally very accommodating to each other. They’re very worried about this episode being boring and you know what? It honestly might be. The only source of any minute conflict between them is changing the kitty litter, if that’s any indication. So guess what they’re getting married and they’ve never been in a fight! So we kind of plan out how they will fight, because they presumably will at some point over the next 100 years that they’re married to each other (when they get divorced; millennials aren’t going to die). Also, this is a kiwano melon.
Talia and Kristen have been together for about ten months, they met in an improv class. We talk about national coming out day and gay stuff, reminisce about high school, spend QUITE A BIT OF TIME describing a bad improv scene they were both in (this is podcast greatness you guys) which served as a kind of in-the-trenches bonding experience. They have “communication-based tiffs” based on their differing love languages - Kristen speaks Quality Time, Talia speaks literally every love language. We also learn that we all love gossip, and that some of us are culturally Jewish. The three of us also weigh in on how a couple should mix their friends, whether you should text to tell someone you can’t come to an event at which they would not have noticed your absence, and the circumstantial move-in. Also New York is a garbage island <3 <3 <3 Goodbye.
Unlike the majority of our guests on Honey, Jen and Louis are NOT REAL! They are characters improvised in the moment by the extremely talented and hilarious Peter Banifaz and Michelle Thompson. Lou and Jen are FASCINATING people - they’re a youth group leader and a dog walker, former scooter owners, and swingers. They are AMAZINGLY forthcoming about their sex life. Their big fight stems from Jen saying the wrong name during a certain sex act. Lou and Jen are just a reminder that relationships are incredibly complex, and when you can get all the moving parts to click into place, it can be really magical. That may or may not be the case for the two of them.
See Peter perform at UCB: http://ucbcomedy.com
See Michelle’s weekly improv show Purgatory: http://www.clubhouseimprov.com
Recently engaged couple Mary and Matt would get married at a late night bit show under the right circumstances. Find out why Matt was legitimately concerned with the optics of not seeming like a rapist on their first date. Mary only asks Matt to be cleaner, pay attention to her, and get off his computer. But they also have a philosophical disagreement about the concepts of loyalty and justice. This goes all the way from merging into a crowded lane to capital punishment and we talk about it all! When do you speak up about the injustices in the world? Matt is mostly an introvert and Mary is mostly an extrovert and we get back into the good ol’ introvert/extrovert dilemma.
Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History episode
Article about the Obamas
Danny and Emily are engaged and they go to Catalina Island every single weekend! Danny: may or may not be a foodie. Does not know the word “maraschino” as in “maraschino cherry.” Does not eat bacon. Is a neighborhood councilman. Likes to pretend his unborn child is named “Glitch.” Uses finishing salt. Emily: Disapproves of the way Danny utilizes cruise control. Feels sorry for overworked machines. Sits in the middle back seat when Danny’s driving. Can’t be tamed. Makes good banana bread. Does not like seafood. Grew up in a house without a lot of cheese. Has difficulty waiting in lines for trendy restaurants. Leaves detritus around the living room late at night. Lies sometimes?!?! Julia: Met a baby wearing glasses immediately before recording this. Also in this episode, an update from Molly and Yael (go check out their episode “The Bigger Better”)! They are now engaged, and guess what, their engagement post on Facebook got over 1100 likes.
Bethany and Michael have been together for two and a half years! They met at work, they live together, they love video games, and they have their own YouTube channel, FreshPlays. Their big fight is over the creation of their most recent episode, wherein Michael gets heckled by their friend while playing a video game, and when Michael gets frustrated, things get very dire very fast. They also fight about dishes, and piles of laundry, and Beth and I reveal ourselves to be dirty disgusting people and Mike reveals himself to be neat as a pin. Then, just as I try to wrap up the episode, they bring up a fight they once got in about GETTING MARRIED oh god so just stay tuned till the end because it gets really serious. I also make a lot of very gender normative observations, but you know what, stereotypes are pervasive and they influence the way we think, okay???
Ali and Andrew have been together for four years (ish? They don’t celebrate anniversaries!). They met in college and fight very infrequently. They’re very calm people! They only fight when they’re hungry, which is a problem because Ali had her jaw wired shut for months. They also fight because Andrew thinks Ali is a reckless driver. They also once got in a fight because Andrew’s ex-girlfriend kept staring at Ali across campus in a girl-from-the-ring kind of way and then Andrew, thinking he was being a hero, told the girl to stop, when really Ali didn’t want her to know she even cared, obviously! They also have a fight about the timeline of moving in, getting engaged, yadda yadda yadda. No more discussions of The Night Of, but some hot takes on Stranger Things and the Fast and the Furious franchise.
Eric and James are a jetsetting bicoastal couple! They’re both WASPs and we know how I love it when WASPs fight. Their main fight is about a game of Settlers of Catan and hinges on the legality of futures trading in the jurisdiction of Catan. We talk briefly about the pros and cons of each of their fighting styles (James is a pouter and Eric is a roller-over-er). Their ongoing dispute is about New York vs. LA, so the three of us just really dig in and have a good old fashioned New York vs. LA debate. Julia continues to throw shade at HBO’s The Night Of.
Jo and Kevin have been together for a year and they’ve been long distance almost that entire time! They started dating when they were both in grad school at Columbia only two weeks before Jo moved to LA. Their first fight was about Kevin attending Jo’s going away party, then we talk about how Kevin invited his roommate TO ATTEND THEIR FIRST DATE, then we talk about one very fucked up night when Kevin was feeling jealous so he ignored Jo and she went fully insane, and there’s a classic Bad Valentine’s Day fight for good measure. Jo is very intense and emotional and loves to storm out of places and like, fully leave. These two are quite obviously smitten with each other and are just A DELIGHT. Also Kevin loves death and falconry! Here is the Hairpin article about how dumb Law & Order is that I reference...
THESE ARE MY PARENTS. They have been married for 33 years. First we hear about a fight from when they were in college that would never have happened in a world with cell phones, and then we hear about how it happened again almost exactly the same way 37 years later with cell phones, because my mom refused to use her cell phone, like a true lunatic. I call my parents out for being rich people, but don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to have rich parents! We talk briefly about another couple’s marital issues that are exemplified by their pigs frequently getting out of the barn (don’t ask). Finally we start talking about when my dad tried to buy mom an expensive ring for either their 20th or 25th wedding anniversary, and it all goes horribly wrong and then they start talking basically about my dad’s insane job as an investment banker and my mom’s role as the supportive spouse, and the huge life choices they have both made and then this thing really graduates to above my pay grade and kind of gets away from me. Listening to this episode, I think my dad is actually still mad that my mom failed to pick him up at the airport in Virginia in 1978. Also everyone go out and buy my mom’s book. It has sold 700 copies since 1992.
Erika and Winston have known each other for ten years, and have been together for four. But it was not easy to get to this place! First Erika shut Winston down when he tried to kiss her, then they were best friends while Erika had another boyfriend and Winston pined for her, then Erika tried to kiss Winston and he was like naw, then they were mean to each other for a while, then Winston told Erika he loved her and she reacted in literally the worst possible way (no spoilers!). Their main fight is about going to a very secretive psychic - the psychic told Erika not to tell Winston what she said, and Winston hates being kept in the dark. But Erika reveals the psychic’s secret LIVE ON THIS EPISODE! These two are hilarious and I’m obsessed with them so we also talk about Barney’s Beanery, how great my dog is (she’s perfect), white female righteousness, politics on Facebook, what you can say to a boyfriend vs. what you can say to a best friend, and that one time the police accidentally responded to a domestic violence complaint at Winston’s apartment. Also Erika cannot cook and she should stop trying; Julia feels very strongly about this. Enjoy!
A totally improvised, fictitious fight between Taylor and Taylor (performed by Ego Nwodim and Jacob Wysocki of UCB’s Harold Team 8 Babies). Taylor and Taylor’s ongoing disagreement is about whether or not to get married and have kids, given boy Taylor’s really heavy, difficult past (his mom is serving thirty years in a Canadian prison). They do like to joke about girl Taylor murdering boy Taylor if he doesn’t get her pregnant, so don’t be alarmed when you hear that. Their big fight is about when girl Taylor accidentally spent Valentine’s day with a coworker who had a crush on her. You can see Julia, Ego, Jacob and many other hilarious people improvise live at UCB on Harold Night with the team 8 Babies! Check out the schedule here.
GGG Savage Lovecast fans Shane Lennon and Tiffany Nicole kept it casual for a very long time before making it official. They have a super awesome juicy fight that seems like it came out of an actual movie. It takes place in Mexico - birthdays, drinking, attractive friends, the tantalizing idea of a threesome that may or may not be a joke - this is Hollywood stuff, people! We talk fighting while drinking, tabling a fight, making fun of each other, and what to do when you find your partner’s friend to be a megababe. Julia also really tries to make the drinking game “stack cup” catch on.
Any FRIENDS fans in the house? This episode starts with us all looking at a dick pic, which has nothing to do with anything. Then we embark on this very special episode where we debate the fight that Ross and Rachel have in the episode “The One The Morning After.” Julia, Aly, and Oscar watch this episode of friends and analyze every aspect of this fight and the dynamics at play in Ross and Rachel’s relationship, which is why this episode is NEARLY TWO HOURS LONG!! Oscar is pro-Ross and Aly is pro-Rachel, and it gets heated!
Kaitlyn and Andrew have been dating for about four months. We recorded this in Brooklyn, where they both live and work as musicians. Recently she went home with him to Georgia, and they went with Andrew’s family and friends to the Clermont Lounge, which is a strip club but it’s NOT A NORMAL STRIP CLUB. What could go wrong? Pro-tip: their secret is to make up in an airport TGIFriday’s. We also dive into the hot button issue of STAYING FRIENDS WITH AN EX. Plus, we mention Beauty Secrets Human Tears, which I wrote and which you can find at the Hairpin.
Jade and Chris have known each other since high school and they’ve lived together for a little over a month. In this episode we start by talking about their most recent fight, which is a somewhat typical fight about spending time together, but then we get into some of the VERY JUICY fights they have had over the years, including one hot mess of a fight in college when they weren’t even together, and one doozy about a girl hitting on Chris at a wedding. Also Jade prefers ESPN and Chris prefers Bleacher Report. We also talk about Chris’s time in the military, inappropriate Facebook behavior, and why, in this, the Golden Age of Television, Chris and Jade are so devoted to NBC’s The Blacklist (I never really get a satisfactory answer).
Jake & Dana work through it...
Kimberly and Mark work through it.
January and Ryan come on Honey to work through it...