Jess and James have been MARRIED for almost NINE years, together for FOURTEEN, and are just a hoot! They have two young children who have taught them A LOT about how to be good partners in life. Neither Jess nor James really care about celebrating anniversaries (or remembering them, for that matter), especially the more arbitrary ones. Their first anniversary involved eating nachos and watching football on their couch when they still lived in Brooklyn, if that gives you any idea. They describe conflict in their relationship as “getting snippy” with one another, rather than “full on fights.” Julia chats with them about the flawed concept of “newness,” the difference between romance and affection, how the ways in which their way their families of origin navigated conflict contributed to some misunderstandings early on, and about how important it is to feel listened to and to make their children feel as though they are listened to...
Jess was a guest on episode 10 of Under Her Eye (“The Worst Shopping Partner Ever,” June 2017) and you can listen to that here.
Anne and Brian have been together for FIFTEEN YEARS, married for 12½, engaged for two, and they became engaged after only FOUR MONTHS (only the second fastest engagement on Honey). They met at a dance festival in Maine where Anne was a student and Brian was a dancer, and they immediately knew they had something special. This episode explores their fights that surround travel – mainly about personal space and deciding where to go, their fights about where to live and for how long, and how they’ve learned to support one another through thick and thin. Julia chats with them about their rules for themselves in order to solve and prevent conflicts in their relationship – most fights happen when they’re hungry and/or tired. They constantly reaffirm their vows, which are fun and beautiful and keep things exciting 15 years in. Honey listeners also will learn the power of old-school letters both in fights and in reaffirming love for one another. And a special source of fights makes a return to Honey, DRIVING and BOARD GAMES! This is one relationship where there is NO! ROOM! FOR! SCRABBLE! We mention: David & Becca (#1 fastest engagement), Pete & Jen, and Sarah & Billy.
This is a truly special episode. Minhdzuy and Amber JUST BROKE UP after 2 ½ years together. (They broke up six days before this recording.) Their relationship did not end with a fight, but with a realization that they had grown out of it. They share a unique perspective on breaking up while still playing a part in each other’s day-to-day lives while they work on finding new places to live, life outside the relationship, ect. Julia chats with them about spirituality, a beautiful metaphor about puzzle pieces, and a less beautiful but no less true metaphor about dirty bath water. Can your relationship and career blossom at the same time? How does the fear of what you might lose in a breakup contribute to your commitment to staying together? At the end of the day, relationships are hard and take a lot of effort. Even though breaking up might not have been the easy route for Minhdzuy and Amber, it was the step they each needed to take to move forward.
Katie and Matt have been dating for TEN MONTHS! They met doing sketch comedy in Los Angeles but really connected at a meetup for a Facebook group comprised of “sad freelance comedians who need an excuse to get out of the house(!!!)”. Julia chats with them about how important it is to know your partner’s “endgame” – even if that endgame doesn’t include you yet – and how their different backgrounds (his parents are the model of a long-standing healthy relationship while she’s an only child whose parents divorced when she was two years old) play into their expectations of one another. The conflict that they’ve dealt with concerns communication – basically, not knowing if you’re “official enough” to bring something up when it bothers you – and money – they have different goals for their professional lives and that has led to some ruffled feathers from time to time. Since they’ve been doing the long-distance thing for the bulk of their relationship, the time they do spend together is usually really special and they try to not take it for granted...but there’s nothing wrong with lounging around on the couch all day every once in awhile!
Callbacks and Show Notes:
Jonathan and Natalie’s episode will be released in early September.
Katie’s episode of Under Her Eye: http://www.whatsacreative.com/episodes/episode-10-the-worst-shopping-partner-ever/