Talia and Kristen have been together for about ten months, they met in an improv class. We talk about national coming out day and gay stuff, reminisce about high school, spend QUITE A BIT OF TIME describing a bad improv scene they were both in (this is podcast greatness you guys) which served as a kind of in-the-trenches bonding experience. They have “communication-based tiffs” based on their differing love languages - Kristen speaks Quality Time, Talia speaks literally every love language. We also learn that we all love gossip, and that some of us are culturally Jewish. The three of us also weigh in on how a couple should mix their friends, whether you should text to tell someone you can’t come to an event at which they would not have noticed your absence, and the circumstantial move-in. Also New York is a garbage island <3 <3 <3 Goodbye.
Unlike the majority of our guests on Honey, Jen and Louis are NOT REAL! They are characters improvised in the moment by the extremely talented and hilarious Peter Banifaz and Michelle Thompson. Lou and Jen are FASCINATING people - they’re a youth group leader and a dog walker, former scooter owners, and swingers. They are AMAZINGLY forthcoming about their sex life. Their big fight stems from Jen saying the wrong name during a certain sex act. Lou and Jen are just a reminder that relationships are incredibly complex, and when you can get all the moving parts to click into place, it can be really magical. That may or may not be the case for the two of them.
See Peter perform at UCB: http://ucbcomedy.com
See Michelle’s weekly improv show Purgatory: http://www.clubhouseimprov.com
Recently engaged couple Mary and Matt would get married at a late night bit show under the right circumstances. Find out why Matt was legitimately concerned with the optics of not seeming like a rapist on their first date. Mary only asks Matt to be cleaner, pay attention to her, and get off his computer. But they also have a philosophical disagreement about the concepts of loyalty and justice. This goes all the way from merging into a crowded lane to capital punishment and we talk about it all! When do you speak up about the injustices in the world? Matt is mostly an introvert and Mary is mostly an extrovert and we get back into the good ol’ introvert/extrovert dilemma.
Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History episode
Article about the Obamas
Danny and Emily are engaged and they go to Catalina Island every single weekend! Danny: may or may not be a foodie. Does not know the word “maraschino” as in “maraschino cherry.” Does not eat bacon. Is a neighborhood councilman. Likes to pretend his unborn child is named “Glitch.” Uses finishing salt. Emily: Disapproves of the way Danny utilizes cruise control. Feels sorry for overworked machines. Sits in the middle back seat when Danny’s driving. Can’t be tamed. Makes good banana bread. Does not like seafood. Grew up in a house without a lot of cheese. Has difficulty waiting in lines for trendy restaurants. Leaves detritus around the living room late at night. Lies sometimes?!?! Julia: Met a baby wearing glasses immediately before recording this. Also in this episode, an update from Molly and Yael (go check out their episode “The Bigger Better”)! They are now engaged, and guess what, their engagement post on Facebook got over 1100 likes.
Bethany and Michael have been together for two and a half years! They met at work, they live together, they love video games, and they have their own YouTube channel, FreshPlays. Their big fight is over the creation of their most recent episode, wherein Michael gets heckled by their friend while playing a video game, and when Michael gets frustrated, things get very dire very fast. They also fight about dishes, and piles of laundry, and Beth and I reveal ourselves to be dirty disgusting people and Mike reveals himself to be neat as a pin. Then, just as I try to wrap up the episode, they bring up a fight they once got in about GETTING MARRIED oh god so just stay tuned till the end because it gets really serious. I also make a lot of very gender normative observations, but you know what, stereotypes are pervasive and they influence the way we think, okay???
Ali and Andrew have been together for four years (ish? They don’t celebrate anniversaries!). They met in college and fight very infrequently. They’re very calm people! They only fight when they’re hungry, which is a problem because Ali had her jaw wired shut for months. They also fight because Andrew thinks Ali is a reckless driver. They also once got in a fight because Andrew’s ex-girlfriend kept staring at Ali across campus in a girl-from-the-ring kind of way and then Andrew, thinking he was being a hero, told the girl to stop, when really Ali didn’t want her to know she even cared, obviously! They also have a fight about the timeline of moving in, getting engaged, yadda yadda yadda. No more discussions of The Night Of, but some hot takes on Stranger Things and the Fast and the Furious franchise.
Eric and James are a jetsetting bicoastal couple! They’re both WASPs and we know how I love it when WASPs fight. Their main fight is about a game of Settlers of Catan and hinges on the legality of futures trading in the jurisdiction of Catan. We talk briefly about the pros and cons of each of their fighting styles (James is a pouter and Eric is a roller-over-er). Their ongoing dispute is about New York vs. LA, so the three of us just really dig in and have a good old fashioned New York vs. LA debate. Julia continues to throw shade at HBO’s The Night Of.
Jo and Kevin have been together for a year and they’ve been long distance almost that entire time! They started dating when they were both in grad school at Columbia only two weeks before Jo moved to LA. Their first fight was about Kevin attending Jo’s going away party, then we talk about how Kevin invited his roommate TO ATTEND THEIR FIRST DATE, then we talk about one very fucked up night when Kevin was feeling jealous so he ignored Jo and she went fully insane, and there’s a classic Bad Valentine’s Day fight for good measure. Jo is very intense and emotional and loves to storm out of places and like, fully leave. These two are quite obviously smitten with each other and are just A DELIGHT. Also Kevin loves death and falconry! Here is the Hairpin article about how dumb Law & Order is that I reference...
THESE ARE MY PARENTS. They have been married for 33 years. First we hear about a fight from when they were in college that would never have happened in a world with cell phones, and then we hear about how it happened again almost exactly the same way 37 years later with cell phones, because my mom refused to use her cell phone, like a true lunatic. I call my parents out for being rich people, but don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome to have rich parents! We talk briefly about another couple’s marital issues that are exemplified by their pigs frequently getting out of the barn (don’t ask). Finally we start talking about when my dad tried to buy mom an expensive ring for either their 20th or 25th wedding anniversary, and it all goes horribly wrong and then they start talking basically about my dad’s insane job as an investment banker and my mom’s role as the supportive spouse, and the huge life choices they have both made and then this thing really graduates to above my pay grade and kind of gets away from me. Listening to this episode, I think my dad is actually still mad that my mom failed to pick him up at the airport in Virginia in 1978. Also everyone go out and buy my mom’s book. It has sold 700 copies since 1992.
Erika and Winston have known each other for ten years, and have been together for four. But it was not easy to get to this place! First Erika shut Winston down when he tried to kiss her, then they were best friends while Erika had another boyfriend and Winston pined for her, then Erika tried to kiss Winston and he was like naw, then they were mean to each other for a while, then Winston told Erika he loved her and she reacted in literally the worst possible way (no spoilers!). Their main fight is about going to a very secretive psychic - the psychic told Erika not to tell Winston what she said, and Winston hates being kept in the dark. But Erika reveals the psychic’s secret LIVE ON THIS EPISODE! These two are hilarious and I’m obsessed with them so we also talk about Barney’s Beanery, how great my dog is (she’s perfect), white female righteousness, politics on Facebook, what you can say to a boyfriend vs. what you can say to a best friend, and that one time the police accidentally responded to a domestic violence complaint at Winston’s apartment. Also Erika cannot cook and she should stop trying; Julia feels very strongly about this. Enjoy!
A totally improvised, fictitious fight between Taylor and Taylor (performed by Ego Nwodim and Jacob Wysocki of UCB’s Harold Team 8 Babies). Taylor and Taylor’s ongoing disagreement is about whether or not to get married and have kids, given boy Taylor’s really heavy, difficult past (his mom is serving thirty years in a Canadian prison). They do like to joke about girl Taylor murdering boy Taylor if he doesn’t get her pregnant, so don’t be alarmed when you hear that. Their big fight is about when girl Taylor accidentally spent Valentine’s day with a coworker who had a crush on her. You can see Julia, Ego, Jacob and many other hilarious people improvise live at UCB on Harold Night with the team 8 Babies! Check out the schedule here.
GGG Savage Lovecast fans Shane Lennon and Tiffany Nicole kept it casual for a very long time before making it official. They have a super awesome juicy fight that seems like it came out of an actual movie. It takes place in Mexico - birthdays, drinking, attractive friends, the tantalizing idea of a threesome that may or may not be a joke - this is Hollywood stuff, people! We talk fighting while drinking, tabling a fight, making fun of each other, and what to do when you find your partner’s friend to be a megababe. Julia also really tries to make the drinking game “stack cup” catch on.
Any FRIENDS fans in the house? This episode starts with us all looking at a dick pic, which has nothing to do with anything. Then we embark on this very special episode where we debate the fight that Ross and Rachel have in the episode “The One The Morning After.” Julia, Aly, and Oscar watch this episode of friends and analyze every aspect of this fight and the dynamics at play in Ross and Rachel’s relationship, which is why this episode is NEARLY TWO HOURS LONG!! Oscar is pro-Ross and Aly is pro-Rachel, and it gets heated!
Kaitlyn and Andrew have been dating for about four months. We recorded this in Brooklyn, where they both live and work as musicians. Recently she went home with him to Georgia, and they went with Andrew’s family and friends to the Clermont Lounge, which is a strip club but it’s NOT A NORMAL STRIP CLUB. What could go wrong? Pro-tip: their secret is to make up in an airport TGIFriday’s. We also dive into the hot button issue of STAYING FRIENDS WITH AN EX. Plus, we mention Beauty Secrets Human Tears, which I wrote and which you can find at the Hairpin.
Jade and Chris have known each other since high school and they’ve lived together for a little over a month. In this episode we start by talking about their most recent fight, which is a somewhat typical fight about spending time together, but then we get into some of the VERY JUICY fights they have had over the years, including one hot mess of a fight in college when they weren’t even together, and one doozy about a girl hitting on Chris at a wedding. Also Jade prefers ESPN and Chris prefers Bleacher Report. We also talk about Chris’s time in the military, inappropriate Facebook behavior, and why, in this, the Golden Age of Television, Chris and Jade are so devoted to NBC’s The Blacklist (I never really get a satisfactory answer).
Jake & Dana work through it...
Kimberly and Mark work through it.
January and Ryan come on Honey to work through it...
Lyndsey Frank and Nick Rasmussen work through it...
Erica Bardin and Ben Wickham stop by the show today - enjoy!
Rachel Germaine and Matt Robinson are newlyweds who have an amazing clarity about their needs and a stunning awareness of the dynamics in their relationship.
This is Part Two of our special two-part series on the Hoffmans! Last week, Julia interviewed Phyllis and Larry, and this week she interviews their daughter Molly and her girlfriend Yael. Molly and Yael have been going steady for six years and they fight about games on their phones and going out and who’s funnier. I don’t know who’s funnier! They’re both extremely funny.
This is Part One of a special two-part series on the Hoffmans! This week, Julia interviews Larry and Phyllis; next week, she interviews their daughter Molly and her girlfriend Yael. Larry is a dentist and Phyllis is his office manager, and they have been married for FORTY YEARS. Listen and learn from the pros.
Courtney Arnett and Brian Kelly are Chicago transplants to LA who used to live together and once went to a 1920's themed engagement party that sounds really insufferable. Courtney told me she would come on the show with her ex and tell the story of a fight that ended with makeup sex in the bathroom of said engagement party. THAT IS WHAT SHE TOLD ME, OKAY? Nobody had any idea that this one would end up going where it did. Buckle your seatbelt around your frail little heart, because this is a doozy.
Produced by: Ryan Middledorf
Artwork: Aly Monroe
Theme Song: Erin & MeLissa